changes in me..

before, when i was in my younger years of being a teen, i never fail to do crazy stuffs just to ease the ennui in my life.. playing around, staying up late at night with my friends, going to bars and pubs, drink 'til i sobber, walking down the street in the middle of the night, exploring things that would catch my attention.. and etcetera, and etcetera.. in short, no plans at all.. i was a brat with no direction in life.. and i certainly felt that way every time i was alone (well, i used to be alone before).. especially when i go out all by myself and just looking around.. while walking, it seems that you don't know the reason why you exist.. it's like you're searching for something but.. you don't know what your are looking for.. a feeling of when you have seen lots of people around you but then you still feel alone.. you're making steps onwards but you don't know where you are going.. absolutely, that is some sort of having your own world.. these things are the symptoms of the illness of being empty and no direction in life..

but you know what.. i've realized that it's up to the person if he wants changes in life.. it's either to be good or to be bad.. but in my case, i changed because of God's gifts to me.. they are the reasons why i grabbed the chance to have a new life.. to become a better person.. they did not change me for who i am today but i chose to change myself for them.. all those crazy stuffs i've done in my life before were now vanished.. and i never regreted that i left my old self and take new steps for new one.. and absoulutely it feels great that now, you know the reasons why you exist.. ='D ..